


We Broke Up

by theoddpocalypse



Series: What Happens on YouTube [7]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Hurt/Comfort, Keith and Shiro are Adoptive Siblings, M/M, Miscommunication, Reunions, youtubers au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-09-25 20:40:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9842852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theoddpocalypse/pseuds/theoddpocalypse
Summary: What happens when what seems like paradise online isn’t such paradise in real life? Keith and Lance showed the world their love, but that never meant they were the perfect couple.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So, I didn't want to post this part for a little while longer, but the problem was that I couldn't get it out of my head, so I decided to get it done and over with so I could move on from it. This part takes place just a little over a year into their relationship. I will admit, I'm not entirely happy with how it came out, but at the same time, I need to just get it out into the world. I hope you all enjoy it at least.

**Lance McClain** @lancemcclain

No new video this week guys, sorry. Some things have come up.

* * *

Keith stepped into frame, sitting down behind his keyboard. He was staring down at the keys, avoiding making eye contact with the camera. He closed his eyes and began to play, not even caring that his fingers were visibly shaking. His whole body was in fact.

“ _I saved every letter you wrote me… from the moment I read them I knew you were mine, you said you were mine, I thought you were mine…._ ” The words came out as shaky as he felt, but he kept going, kept singing, needed to get out the emotions that he'd been bottling up so tightly. Because he was in pain and this was the only way he knew to express it.

It would be his last video for a while. Maybe forever.

The song flowed through him easily, he was constantly singing it under his breath, but this time it had taken on a much bigger meaning. Before it was “this song is gorgeous and everyone should be listening to it” (along with the entire Hamilton soundtrack, let's be honest), to now, where it was far too poignant and real.

“ _You and your words, obsessed with your legacy… your sentences border on senseless, and you are paranoid with every paragraph, how they perceive you… you, you,_ _ **you**_ _…._ ” Keith took a shuddering breath. “ _I'm erasing myself from the narrative… let future historians wonder how Eliza reacted when you broke her heart… you have torn it all apart, I'm watching it… burn…._ ” The tears were streaming freely down his face, and he could see the drops hitting the keys as he played. He just kept going, had to keep going, had to finish this song and then get out of the stupid apartment where even _his_ stupid _smell_ lingered.

Keith couldn't stay there. It hurt too fucking much.

It wasn't until the final line that Keith finally looked up into the camera lens, his eyes red-rimmed and his face tear-stained. His heart broken. “ _I hope that you… burn_.” He played out the final chords, his lip quivering. He looked away again as he finished the song and sat there in silence for a moment. But that was all he could take. He stood from behind his keyboard, moving to stop his camera so he could remove it from the tripod. He plugged it into his computer and uploaded the video to YouTube directly. No editing. No description. No rhyme. No reason.

He was done.

* * *

Keith stood in the middle of his apartment, his whole body shaking. He couldn't escape Lance. He couldn't escape all the memories, especially since most of his things that were still there. He couldn't escape the fucking magnetic letters on the fridge that Lance insisted they have, the last message they'd written with them still there.

_Buy more milk._

_No fuck you._

It'd been a joke. Just a silly joke. But Keith still walked over and scrambled the letters, some of them falling to the ground. His anger made him want to step on them, smashing them until there was nothing left but broken pieces of plastic. He felt like he was losing his damn mind in his own fucking home.

His eyes made contact with the red bracelet still delicately wrapped around his wrist. He hadn't taken it off since Lance gave it to him honestly. It was just part of him. But now it was like another sick joke in his face.

Keith grabbed scissors from a drawer and moved to cut the damn thing off, but he couldn't. He couldn't destroy it. He was shaking as he dropped the scissors back down on the counter. His lower lip trembled and tears came to his eyes again. He couldn't destroy this thing Lance gave him. No matter how heartbroken he felt… he couldn't destroy something so important, something that had been made with him specifically in mind. Lance didn't deserve that.

He packed a bag quickly, basically just stuffing any essentials into it haphazardly. He tried to not think too much because when he did, his brain reminded him that Lance's pants were still on the bathroom floor even though Keith constantly asked him to not leave dirty laundry on the floor. He just continued moving until he was at the door. He gave one last look at his apartment, feeling tears rush to his eyes again, and left.

* * *

Shiro opened his door to see his brother standing there, staring down at the ground, a duffel bag over his shoulder.

“Can I stay here for a while?” Keith asked, his voice small. Shiro nodded, reaching forward to pull Keith into a hug.

“Of course.”

* * *

Lance didn't bother with his camera. He just set up his phone and pressed record, looking at his reflection in the screen. He looked like shit. Absolute shit. He rubbed his hands over his face, already feeling the tears start to well up. He hadn't even fucking started talking yet.

“I didn't want to make this video,” he started, looking anywhere but at his phone. “I didn't want to make this video because it's literally already tearing me apart. But you guys have always been there for me and I have to be honest with you, no matter how much it sucks, and good god does it fucking suck.” He took a deep breath. “Keith and I… we've been broken up for a couple of weeks now and it's… it's been the fucking worst.”

The tears started to fall and Lance reached over to grab the tissue box he'd kept close by. He grabbed a couple and wiped at his eyes, but it didn't really stop the flow at all. It was a futile effort, so he just balled them up and squeezed them, trying to keep himself grounded.

“I want to start by saying that I'm not trying to place blame. It wasn't only Keith's fault and it wasn't only mine. We had problems that we weren't addressing and because of it, we ended things. We weren't perfect, no matter how much we made it seem that way. It's easy to make it seem like everything is perfect when you guys don't get to see everything that's going on in our lives. You only see the parts we want to show you. But I will say that I didn't want to end things, not at all. I… I love Keith so much. More than anything or anyone. I know for a fact that he is who I want to spend my life with. But right now… right now he doesn't want me and I just have to respect his wishes. But I also wish that….”

Lance couldn't help the way he absolutely broke. The dam shattered and even more tears were falling his eyes. He sobbed, looking down, his shoulders shaking with the force of it all.

“I'm back in my stupid tiny apartment. Most of my shit is still at ho- Keith's place. But I can't go there because I just can't. I can't do it. I feel like my fucking heart is actively being ripped from my chest and I really don't know what to do about it.”

He took a deep breath. Wiped his eyes. Steadied himself as much as he could.

“I just need a break for a while. I'm sorry, I need a break. From everything. You guys deserved to know what was happening, even if I don't want to explain all of it. I owe you that much, at least. Just please respect that I need some time for myself.” He looked back up at the screen. “And Keith… I don't know if you'll watch this. You probably won't. You probably don't want anything to do with me. But if you do… I am so sorry.”

* * *

 **Sad Leah** @klancefan1

I honestly feel so numb. My heart goes out to them.

 **Ava is** **<** **/** **3** @klancearegay

Like… is love even real? Why does life have to ruin everything beautiful?

 **Elise** @_klance

I love Keith and Lance, together and as individuals. I really hope they find some peace through all this shit.

* * *

It was literally like Keith disappeared off the face of the earth. At least that's what it felt like to Lance. He would go through his Twitter feed, just looking, and Keith's Twitter hadn't been updated. Nor had his Instagram, or his Snapchat. And the last video on his YouTube was his cover of _Burn_ , which Lance had watched far too many times, the sick feeling in his stomach growing with each view.

The worst part was that Keith sounded amazing and Lance couldn't help but be excited about that. Keith loved Hamilton, was constantly singing the songs to himself (Lance couldn't count the number of times Keith had sung _Helpless_ into his ear) and he'd been wanting to cover something from it for such a long time. They'd even talked about having him do a medley where he literally sang all the parts, though they'd never gotten around to doing it because it would be so much work and so much recording, specifically on Keith's part.

But the sick feeling still resided, because Keith was singing that heart-wrenching song because of _him_. Because Keith was hurting so badly and that song was what he decided best fit their situation. And while Lance knew that Keith didn't really want him to burn, literally or figuratively, it still hurt.

And when Keith looked at the camera at the end, it felt like he was looking right through Lance's screen and into his soul.

He'd actually been watching it again when his door opened. Hunk and Pidge walked in and Lance slammed his laptop shut, hastily wiping at his eyes. Hunk and Pidge shared a look, before walking over to him.

“Hey buddy, how you holding up?” Hunk asked, sitting beside him. Pidge sat on the arm of the couch on the other side of Lance. Lance sighed.

“I'm not.”

“Lance, you can't just wallow,” Pidge said.

“But I want to wallow.”

“It's not healthy to wallow.”

“I don't really give a shit to be honest.” Both Hunk and Pidge winced at his words. Lance sighed heavily, shaking his head. “Sorry guys. I don't want to snap at you, I just, I'm hurt. And I don't know what to do about it. How do I just stop hurting? How do I stop thinking about him? That's what I want to do, but I can't. I love him and just because we broke up doesn't mean that stopped.”

Hunk placed his hand on Lance's shoulder. “We know that, man. Trust us. Everyone could see you two were crazy for each other. You've been together for so long now and you never really stopped looking at each other that way. At least not until….”

“The end? Yeah, I know.”

“Lance, you are going to be okay. So is Keith. But neither one of you is going to get better by shutting down. Especially not you. C'mon, come out with us. We're gonna go to the pier, play some games, eat a ton of junk food, and just have a good time. You need to let yourself continue to live,” Pidge explained.

“I just don't want him to hear that I'm having fun and think that I've moved on.”

“It's not about moving on. It's about not letting your soul die. Please come with us?”

Lance looked back and forth between his friends. He knew they were right and they were looking out for him. Honestly, they were the best friends anyone could ask for. And he had a feeling they weren't actually going to let him say no to this.

“Okay… what could it hurt?”

* * *

“Keith?” Shiro knocked at the door of the guest bedroom. Keith had been staying with him and Allura for a while now, but he'd barely seen his brother at all, except for the times he came out for food. The guest room had it's own bathroom, so Keith didn't have to come out for that. And Shiro was worried. He'd never seen Keith like this.

He'd seen Keith go through break ups before, but Keith had never been a big relationship person in the past and therefore those break ups hadn't affected him as much as they would a normal human being. Whereas Shiro was always the relationship brother, Keith was the quick fix brother, preferring more casual dates and the occasional hookup to any real romantic foundation. Until Lance came around. Until Lance stole his heart in a way that had never happened before. Shiro had never seen Keith so happy and he'd hoped it wouldn't end. So when it did… Shiro felt lost just looking at his baby brother.

Except Keith didn't want to be seen much at all.

There was no response to his call and Shiro knocked again. “Keith, I know you're in there, your bike is in the garage. Can I come in?” Still no response. Shiro couldn't take it. He twisted the handle and went in anyways, even though normally he wouldn't invade Keith's privacy like that.

The room was dark except for the light from the TV, the flashing images making the colors dance on the walls. The sound was turned down, and Keith was just sitting on the bed, staring. He didn't even look up at Shiro. It made the older man's heart ache even more.

He walked over and sat down on the bed. Keith still wouldn't look at him. There were bags under his eyes, and his cheeks looked a little more gaunt, like he hadn't been eating properly.

“Keith, talk to me.”

Keith's eyes shifted over to him and then he looked down, letting his bangs fall to cover his eyes. “About what?”

“Are you eating?”

“Yes.”

“More than just enough to keep from starving.”

No response. Shiro felt like a helpless parent.

“You can't live like this, Keith. And before you cut in, I'm not kicking you out. You know Allura and I would never do that to you. But you do need to actually leave this room. You can't just stay in here and let your life pass you by. Go get some fresh air, maybe make a video or something-”

“I'm not making anymore videos. I'm done with that.”

Shiro's stomach dropped. He'd had a feeling this was going to happen, and he'd been dreading it. Despite how nonchalant Keith was about his career, Shiro knew he really did enjoy making videos. He was always so proud of them, especially when their mom liked them. He put so much work into them, and to just stop seemed so drastic.

“What about your fans? Don't they deserve at least a goodbye from you or something. To at least know you're alright?”

“I'm not alright!” Keith was looking at him now, his eyes red and glossy with unshed tears. “I'm not alright. I don't know how to do this. I want to hate him. I want to hate his stupid face and his stupid eyes and his stupid laugh and his stupid everything, but all I do is think about him and how much I miss him and I hate it so fucking much and it's not fair! I'm not alright.” Keith was shaking, his hands sliding into his hair and gripping at the strands. Shiro grabbed his wrists, knowing full well that if he let this continue, Keith would slide into a full panic attack and hurt himself.

“Keith, sitting in this room isn't going to make things better. You could go talk to him if you miss him-”

“No. Stop, Shiro.” Keith yanked his hands away. Shiro sighed.

“It's okay to miss him. He probably misses you too. You've been together for a pretty long time. Almost a year right?”

“Just over.” Keith's voice was small. Shiro could hear the tremble in it, heard the way Keith sniffled, but he was looking down again so Shiro couldn't see his face.

“Can I at least say something for your fans? They've been asking about you.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because this is my life, Shiro. It's my life and I don't have to share every fucking thing with the internet. I never signed up for this!”

“Keith… these people gave you a lot. You can't just do that to them. It's not fair.” Keith snorted, but Shiro glared at him. He looked away again.

“Fine. You can tell them I'm dealing with things. But that's all. Now can you go?”

Shiro nodded and stood, walking to the door. Keith had crossed his arms over his chest and was staring at the TV again. Shiro gave his brother one last sad look before he left the room, closing the door behind him.

* * *

 **Takashi Shirogane** @shiro

(1/2) For all of those asking about Keith, he's allowed me to let you know that he's okay. Well, as okay as he can be in his situation.

 **Takashi Shirogane** @shiro

(2/2) He wanted me to let you all know that he is dealing with things on his own. I'm sure he appreciates all your kind words.

* * *

“Am I a bad person, Hunk?”

Lance was sitting at Hunk's counter, watching Hunk prep his supplies for a new video. He was measuring out all of his ingredients and getting his tools set up. It was a very calming process for Lance. They'd had fun at the pier the other day, as much fun as Lance would let himself have, and he'd won a couple prizes. A blue stuffed lion and a red stuffed lion. He didn't say it, but it was pretty much a fact that he won the red one for Keith.

Hunk looked at him, his brows knitted together. “Why would you think that, Lance?”

Lance shrugged. “I fucked up the best thing that ever happened to me.”

Hunk sighed. “Lance, everyone makes mistakes. That's part of being human. The thing is you just have to learn from your mistakes and move forward. You're not a bad person. You aren't solely to blame for your breakup with Keith.”

“I know that. I just wish I could move on. It's been two months and I still feel like it just happened.”

“That's because you're wallowing. Look… I have no doubt that you and Keith are going to get back together, man. You two love each other no matter what. But you need to allow yourself to heal. I'm not necessarily saying move on, just… heal. Learn from this.”

“What if I don't though? What if I don't heal properly? What if he and I really are done for good? What do I do then?”

“I guess you just have to try and remember how you were before Keith.”

* * *

“Shiro, why do you think I'm the way I am?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why do I shut down the moment anything goes even slightly wrong?”

“You've been that way since you were little.”

“It's one of the reasons Lance and I broke up, you know?”

“I… I had a feeling.”

“How can I fix this?”

“It's not something you can just change overnight. You just need to learn to let others in. You love Lance, right?”

“… Yes. Too much.”

“Then trust him to help you when you need it. You have to communicate, Keith.”

“It doesn't matter now. I doubt he wants me back.”

“I wouldn't be so sure of that.”

* * *

“I went on a date last night.”

“You did?”

“Yeah.”

“How was it?”

“Fine, I guess. She was nice. The food was good.”

“But….”

“It wasn't right. Months apart and it still wasn't right. Like I had a nice time, and I laughed, but it didn't feel like anything that could progress. My heart is his. No matter what.”

“You two are gross together, but even worse apart honestly.”

“You think I still have a chance, Hunk?”

“There's not a doubt in my mind.”

* * *

“Shiro, I'm gonna go see mom.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I've been kind of ignoring her. That isn't right.”

“She'll be happy to see you.”

“Yeah. I'll be home later.”

* * *

“Mom, do you think Lance still loves me after all of this?”

“My dear, nothing in the world could make that boy stop loving you. Trust me, I know.”

* * *

“I'm gonna do it, guys. I'm going to get Keith back.”

* * *

“Keith?” Lance walked into their apartment. The place was silent, and looked… about exactly the same as it had when he'd left it months ago. He looked around, walking through the living room and into the kitchen. He stepped on something by the fridge and looked down to see a couple of the alphabet magnets on the floor. He bent down and picked them up, putting them back on the fridge. He looked at them sadly for a moment, before arranging them again and moving on throughout the apartment.

Keith was nowhere to be found. His camera was there, his laptop was there. His piano was still out, untouched. Dust covered the surface of the keys, as well as just about every other surface. Lance wiped away the dust, knowing Keith would not be happy about the mess.

It didn't take him long to come to the realization that Keith just wasn't there. And obviously hadn't been for a while. Lance pulled out his phone and called Shiro, knowing he would definitely know his brother's whereabouts.

“Hey Lance,” Shiro said, his voice sounding a bit tired. Lance hadn't talked to him in a while, and he felt bad about that.

“Hey Shiro. Have you, um-”

“Seen Keith?”

“Yeah.”

“He's here, Lance. He's been here since the… well, you know.”

“He has?”

“Come over, Lance. He misses you.”

* * *

Lance rushed over to Shiro and Allura's house, quite possibly breaking some speeding laws, but this was too important to care honestly. He parked haphazardly and ran up to the front door. It opened before he had a chance to knock. Shiro gave him an encouraging smile as he motioned inside. “He's in the guest bedroom, right down the hall.”

“Thanks, Shiro.” Lance hurried into the house and down the hall, but when he got to the door, he froze. He hadn't seen Keith for months, hadn't even heard his voice, and maybe Keith didn't want to see him at all. They were broken up, he had no reason to want to see him… but Lance had to try. He took a deep breath and knocked at the door.

“Go away, Shiro,” he heard from inside the room. Lance's heart started to race at the sound of Keith's voice. He gripped the handle and turned it, pushing it open. The room was dark when he stepped inside except for the light of a laptop screen. Playing on the screen was the boyfriend tag video they'd done together. Lance could hear Keith sniffling lightly.

“Keith?” The man in question's head shot up at Lance's voice and he quickly snapped the laptop shut.

“L-Lance… what are you doing here?” Keith turned on the bedside table light and watched him. Lance was staring at him with wide eyes. Keith definitely looked different. He looked like he hadn't eaten much. Looked like he hadn't left the room much.

“Why do you feel the need to isolate yourself?” Lance couldn't help but ask. Keith's expression dropped into a glare and he looked away, crossing his arms over his chest.

“If you came here to fight with me, you can just go.”

“Keith, no. Please, look at me.” Lance moved to sit down beside Keith, but Keith continued to stare away from him. “I'm not here to fight with you. I'm here to talk. Something we both need to learn to do a little bit better.” He could see Keith's lower lip trembling. “I will readily admit that we both let our issues build up too much. Me with my insecurities and you with your shutting down the moment anything falls out of line. I should've come to you when I didn't feel right about something and you should've come to me instead of pushing me away. We both should've done things differently. And even though these last few months have sucked so much, maybe we needed this.” Keith looked up at him at that. “We needed some time to ourselves. Our lives became so intertwined and it happened so fast and even though I don't regret it… I don't know. I hated this time apart, but I can see that it's just made me even more sure of how I feel, and how I feel is that I still want you, Keith. I don't want to be with anyone else. I just want to go back to see you first thing in the morning and last thing at night and talking to you about my day and hearing about yours and making videos with you. I miss you and I want to put this break up behind us… as long as that's what you want too.” He chewed on his lip for a moment. “I know that all of this isn't going to immediately fix everything. We have so much we need to talk about and work out. But I want to do that, I want to work everything out. I'm pretty sick of not having you. I just… I miss you, Keith.”

Lance stared at Keith's face, watching as he just stared back. Keith was so hard to read a lot of the time, but Lance could see the emotions in his eyes. He reached out and put his hand on Keith's, letting out a shaky exhale when Keith's hand moved to fit into his own, their fingers intertwining.

“I've missed you so much,” Keith whispered. It was only moments later that Keith basically flung himself at Lance and their lips were pressed together, and suddenly it was like Lance could truly breathe again.

* * *

They walked back into their apartment together, Lance setting down his own bags before taking Keith's from him. Keith was taking a moment to just look around at his home. It was almost eerie how everything was exactly as he left it. He walked through the living room, picking up little things here and there, toying with the bracelet around his wrist. He could feel Lance's eyes on him, so he turned to look at him. Lance smiled at him.

“You okay?” he asked. Keith's lips twitched up into a smile of his own and he nodded.

“Yeah, I'm just… I'm thirsty.” Lance nodded and followed Keith as he moved into the kitchen. Keith grabbed two cups from the cupboard and set them on the island. He turned to open the fridge and froze. The alphabet magnets that he'd jumbled and sent scattering to the floor were back on the fridge, though in a much different arrangement than before.

_I love you so much._

Lance walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around him. Keith relaxed into him, one hand covering Lance's on his stomach, the other reaching up to cup the side of his face. He turned to look at him, his eyes undoubtedly filled the love he felt like his heart was flowing over with.

“I love you too,” he whispered.

* * *

Keith sat down at his piano, the camera already rolling. He let out a long exhale and looked up, giving an awkward little wave. “Hey guys. So… you probably have all been wondering where I've been.”

It was incredibly weird, being back in his office and filming the first video he'd filmed in months. It was so easy to fall back into the routine of setting up (even though everything had already been set up since that was how he left it) and dust off his piano like he'd never said goodbye to it.

“I want to start off by saying thank you to all of you. Thank you for being considerate of my situation and for allowing me to take the time off that I did. Despite my career, I am a very private person and I was dealing with a lot. Things that I just couldn't deal with and pretend like they weren't happening at the same time. I also want to apologize. For disappearing, that is. I took advantage of you all because I… I didn't think any of you deserved to know what was going on. I didn't feel like I had to share this. And I while I still feel that what happened was a very hard personal thing, I still should've at least let you know that I was taking a break.”

“And to be honest, I didn't intend on coming back. At all. When I started making videos, it was never meant to become a full-time job, but that's what it became. And I was stupid to think I could just walk it away from it.”

“So really, from the bottom of my heart, I am so sorry. For leaving without a word and for the radio silence, but also thank you for respecting it. I really do appreciate all of you so much, even if I'm not the best at showing it. I'm going to try to be better about that. I'm trying to be better about a lot of things.”

Keith rubbed his hands together before sliding his fingers over the keys. “I'm really excited about getting back into this obviously. And what better way to come back than with a cover? I know that last one was probably… not the most fun to watch and I'm sorry about that, but I think you're going to like this one, especially since I have a very special partner joining.” He looked past the camera and nodded. “C'mon.”

Lance moved from where he was standing behind the camera to sit down on the chair next to Keith. He smiled at the camera. “Hey everyone.”

“Lance has finally agreed to do a duet with me. We really hope you like it.” They smiled at each other before Keith started to play the opening notes. He knew Lance was a little nervous to sing for the world, but he also knew that Lance had nothing to worry about. “ _Wise men say… only fools rush in, but… I can't help falling in love with you…._ ”

Keith nodded at Lance, who took a deep breath before he joined in. “ _Shall I stay… would it be a sin… if I can't help falling in love with you…._ ”

They continued with the song, singing separately and together, their voices blending in such a beautiful way that Keith couldn't help the tears that sprung to his eyes. They refused to look away from another, only doing so when they had to blink really. It was a perfect way for them both to come back to YouTube, as well as to each other.

And as the final note faded away, they both leaned in and shared a slow, passionate kiss, neither one of them caring that the camera was still filming. Keith didn't plan on cutting it from the final edit.

**Author's Note:**

> Please feel free to drop any questions about this series on my [tumblr](http://theoddpocalypse.tumblr.com/) or just chat with me.


End file.
